Saturday, 21 February 2015

Unawesome threesome

Today I wanna talk to you about threesomes from a perspective of an eternal single girl. If you are in the same position, you'll get it immediatelly and if you're in a couple, you should read my post carefully and thoroughly. 

I want to stress at the very beginning that I'm not going to talk about a situation when three people are having sex together. (In case you didn't know, a threesome means being engaged in the same activity, not necessarily sex.) I'd like to focus on a situation when a single girl spends time with her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend.

First of all- WHY? There can be a few reasons. You might be really close to your pal and want to avoid the enstrangement. You decide to swallow your pride, your emotions and try to pretend that nothing has changed in your relationship. You feel needed, as long as you're a shoulder to cry on and your friend calls you to ask for advice. But things are getting worse when you find yourself in a situation when you're not needed anymore, when her boyfriend has become her best friend. Now she just tells you occasionally about how good their sex is and that they are moving in together.
Another reason why you can potentially be involved in a "triangle relationship" is quite brutal- you have a crush on your best friend's boyfriend.That's definitely much worse than the former. IMO, if you're using your friend to get to her boyfiend, you are a mean b*tch. It's the worst thing you can do. But when you have a crush on him and are loyal to your friend at the same time, you're a hero. And a masochist.
You may also spend time with a couple because you have no other option. Your friend and her boyfriend are the only people who want to meet with you. This should be a wake-up call for you to look for new friends. ASAP. Unless of course you want to be a fifth wheel for the rest of your life.

Now I have some advice for girls who are on the other side- the lucky ones. Please, treat your friend well. If she has been there for you when you needed her, you can count on her when you and your boyfriend break up. (Let's face it- even though your relationship may seem perfect, you can't predict the future.) 
On the other hand, if you aren't 100% sure if you can trust her and you tell her about intimate things even then, you have to take into account that she may use them against you one day. (But remember one thing- your friend may not always be honest with you, even if you're in a toxic relationship, because after a potential break-up you could blame her for it and she also doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Obviously, the truth is better, but it's often very hard to accept.)
And last but not least, tongue kissing and Hands All Over are NOT ALLOWED. Please, for God's sake, do it somewhere else. Such situations make me feel deeply uncomfortable. And I can imagine that others feel the same way.

To sum up, I would like to recommend you two episodes of SATC- "Three's a Crowd" and "The Chicken Dance". What have they taught me? To keep away from any kind of threesomes.

Friday, 13 February 2015

My life as Mystique

I wake up early in the morning, do some stretching and go straight to the bathroom. I brush my hair, take a shower. Nothing special. Maybe except for the fact that my skin is blue and I have yellow eyes. After all, I'm Mystique.

*Do you really wanna get to know me better? As you wish. I am a mutant- I have the X-Gene which makes it possible for me to change my shape. I can even become a raven if I want to.*

After my morning routine I simply try not to be blue, leave my apartment and do something productive e.g. kill a few twits. Then I come back home, sit back and relax.

Ok, now I've woken up for real. I'm a normal (?) person with abnormal dreams. I'm also a huge fan of the "X-Men" movies, comics and cartoons. My favourite character, as you may have already guessed, is Mystique. Why is that?- you may ask. Well, to be honest, in the past, comics had never been my thing. That changed when I became a fan of Jennifer Lawrence, who played Mystique in two of the "X-Men" movies. I have become really keen on comics since then. I started to imagine that I was one of the mutants. Not superheroes but mutants. It's a very different thing. Mutants aren't made of steel. Well, some of them are, but you know what I mean. They are more like human beings- they have similar problems, experience joy, anger and sadness...
Becoming Mystique could be a great way to feel compassion for others, if only she wasn't so fierce and heartless. But you can always say that that's the fault of the X-Gene, right?

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Warsaw here I come...

As you may or may not know, last autumn I started to study linguistics in Warsaw (on the first day of October, to be strict). I've lived there since then. I can't say that it's been a picture perfect. In fact, it has been a really tough time. Not only did I have to memorize the boring stuff like grammar and phonetics but I also had to learn how to be an adult. The latter is obviously much more demanding and complicated. In one of his posts Brandon from Humans of New York quoted a young girl: "I'm finding out that being an adult is a lot more than learning how to cook." Well, to be honest, I can totally relate to that. Not so long ago I thought that adulthood is a synonym of freedom and happiness. I was certain that as soon as I moved from home, I would become a strong, independent woman with no complexes and an unwritten law depicting young adults would permit me to do whatever I wanted to. Unfortunately, the reality has turned out to be quite brutal. I'm still lazy and have a lackluster enthusiasm. I have problems with waking up in the morning and forcing myself to do something productive connected with my studies. I have to admit that one thing has changed- I became more active. And, what isn't very helpful,  I get bored really quickly. I just can't sit still. At the same time I don't have as much pleasure from going for a walk on my own as in the past. I like to be surrounded with friends, have someone to laugh with me at our stupid jokes. Maybe I became more social. Well, I wish ;)

Before moving to Warsaw I had a rough idea about the life that awaited me. I felt like I was going to live in another country or something. I had been just a few times in the capital before and I couldn't remember anything from my previous visits except for the location of the Central Railway Station. Yeah, that's definitely a good place to start :)

Moving to a city which you barely know has its merits. Your idea about your new home is almost like a tabula rasa, which means you can shape it into whatever you desire by visiting intersting places, attending cultural events and meeting new people. You can, you SHOULD feel free to discover, observe and enjoy- literally absorb- everything around you. I have tried to make the most of my stay in Warsaw, but I usually haven't managed or simply have been too lazy to take my camera with me. So same pictures have been taken with my mobile phone or have been recorded in my memory (at least for now). My March resolution will be to go out more, be more positive and TAKE MORE PICTURES. For now, enjoy the brief summary of where I have been in my free time in Warsaw.


Royal Baths Park (Łazienki Królewskie):

Constitution Square (Plac Konstytucji):

The Saxon Garden (Ogród Saski):

Sofitel Hotel:

The Piłsudski Square (Plac marsz. Józefa Piłsudskiego)

University of Warsaw Library:

Świętokrzyska Street:

Niepodległości Alley:


Marszałkowska Street:


Metropolitan Building:

Krakowskie Przedmieście:

Castle Square:

Old Town:

Old Town Market Square:


Saturday, 31 January 2015

The truth about me.

I don't know what the f*ck I'm doing, but I may well finish it. Sitting in front of the camera, on my own, making stupid faces and recording it. What a profound and truly fulfilling task. Argh. I just want to express my weird, incomprehensible personality, which I've had struggled with ever since I was little. My nervous system is very unstable and my emotions are changing basically the whole time. In one minute I'm so happy that I could climb the highest mountain and in another I just want to scream of anger. And I usually have problems with expressing these emotions. For years I've been an introvert and almost a textbook example of a neurotic. I've always tried to hide it as much as possible, but I succeded only in the first months of the acquaintance. Truth always comes out, no matter how hard you try to hide your real personality. 

My great issue has always been spending time in a larger group of people (5 or more). I find it really stressful, so I usually say something stupid or don't speak at all. That's why many people who don't know me very well consider me stiff and shallow. 

Another great struggle that I face is the fear of intimacy. For years I've been building a large, thick fence around me which was supposed to protect me from everything that could hurt my emotions. But it doesn't work that way. There are thorns in my fence and they can hurt really badly. Not just me but other people as well. That's why there are just a few of them who try to hurdle and get me out of the prison that I've built for myself. They usually don't succeed and give up. It's no surprise to me since everyone has their own problems. Why should they deal with mine? (Another reason why I don't have a boyfriend.)

The truth is, and I know it very well, I desperately seek the acceptance of other people. No matter at what cost. I'm hardly ever myself due to this urgency. Once someone accepts me for who I am, I'm usually not happy with that person and I become rude or simply unpleasant to be with. And here we go, what goes around, comes around. I'm disappointed with my life once again and look for another 'victim', a shoulder to cry on. And I do stupid things that hurt them. And I feel hurt as well...

You are probably asking yourself now: 'Why doesn't she go to a therapist or something, if she has issues?'. I'll try to answer this question. Let's start from the very beginning. I'll tell you something that I never ever mention in the conversations. I've had a skin desease called Atopic dermatitis ever since I was little. It's basically a red, itchy rash that appears on many parts of your body. In my case, it has been almost everywhere. You can imagine that it doesn't look very attractive. So I covered my body as much as possible- I was wearing turtlenecks, scarfs, long-sleeve T-shirts, long trousers (now, when I'm 20 and symptoms of my illness relented, I try to uncover more skin). I felt horrible. Like a mouse. I basically wanted to hide in the darkest corner of the room. I hated school, I hated the way people looked at me- my ugly, red face and wounded hands (the rash was so itchy that I couldn't refrain from scratching). I didn't want to spend time with people. All I wanted was to sit and cry. I knew I needed professional help, even though I was only around 12 years old. My family was very supportive, but it didn't help. So I begged my mum to take me to a psychologist. She has never believed in the 'magic' of therapy, so she was very unwilling to do this. But we did it eventually. And it was horrible. Didn't help me at all. I can even say that it made things worse because I acknowledged that I had mental issues.

Do you want to know what I asked the psychologist during the therapy? I wanted to know the solution to my problem which was quite simple- I was afraid of shaking hands with other people because I didn't want to see a grimace of disgust on their faces. The psychologist told me something like that: 'Tell those people who want to shake hands with you that you can't do this because of your desease.' Seriously? What kind of help is that...

I see that in this post I started to tell you the story of my life and an incessant struggle with my pathetic self. I don't have any energy left to tell you more about it right now, but maybe I'll do it in the next post. Let this be my own form of therapy. Maybe it'll help, who knows?

Below you can see many weird selfies of me that I took. They express various emotions that I deal with every day. Sometimes I'm happy, usually I'm just confused. Try not to be judgemental. 

I used a program called CameraMan for Windows 8.

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Expectations vs. reality

Every year we have certain expectations towards Christmas. It's nothing strange since it's a very special time of the year when we not only share gifts and wishes but also spend more time than usually with our loved ones. We decorate the house, cook delicious meals, go shopping, prepare beautiful gifts. The crowning achievement is a dinner party, when we sit and enjoy each other's company. At least that's how it's supposed to look like. The fact is that usually many things are far from perfect. Check out my "Expectations vs. reality" compilation and try not to draw any conclusions from it. Just sit back, relax and enjoy.

1. Christmas tree



2. Christmas presents



3. Christmas fashion



3. Christmas photoshoot



4. Christmas food



5. Christmas carol singers



6. Christmas scenery



7. Christmas cards



8. Christmas dinner party



I guess this pictures pretty much sum up my annual Christmas celebration. Sometimes the expectations are fulfilled, sometimes the reality is brutal and I have to accept it. Well, when I think of it more thoroughly, I can't think of any tasteless Christmas dishes or inappropriate Christmas cards. The only thing that could be improved is probably the scenery which 'failed permanently' when it comes to Christmas atmosphere. We usually have no snow and when we have, it instantly blocks the street or, what's even worse, turns into mud. 

Anyways, Christmas is not about complaining. It's about love, joy and forgiveness. Let me wish you all the best for this year's Christmas. Try to have this quote by Charles Dickens in mind: “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” 

I don't claim the ownership of these pictures. They were found in the Google search. If you feel in any way offended, don't hestitate to contact me and I'll delete them from this post as soon as possible.